I missed writing in June, sorry about that. 
Here's a recap of the month - 

• The grief hit me really hard last month and so I spent a lot of time just sitting, missing Erich and crying.
• Other times I spent on the cleaning/purging/reorganization of Erich workshop which is now done. 
• I went to the Tobin Center to see a lecture by Neil DeGrasse Tyson, my second time, and treated myself to a nice dinner beforehand. I paid extra to attend the after Q&A session; there were some very good questions and of course answers too.
• I took the quilt I made in May to the quilter and got it back; it's now on the couch to snuggle under while watching TV. Then I made another quilt which is now at the quilter. I have been collecting Asian themed fabric for 20 years and I thought that since I need a new quilt for my bed why not use ALL the fabrics. I went with a scrappy pattern called Turning 20 which uses 20 fat quarters but I had not only fat quarters but YARDS so I used fabric from all of it and ended up with a King sized quilt.  See the pictures below 

Now I cleaning my studio which has been sitting idle since the start of the pandemic. It's important this get done NOW - see the news below.  Before and after pictures will be posted when it's done. 

Now for the big news. 
I am now in the Class of 2028 at Texas State University - San Marcos.
I am going back to school to get a Bachelors of Fine Arts (BFA) in Studio Art with an emphasis in Metals.

I investigated this when we moved here, for when I retired, but of course some much has happened over the past year it just got delayed. I started to pursue it at the beginning of the year -I I filled out the application, I wrote 2 of the 3 optional essays, and then had my H.S., B.S., and M.S. transcripts sent in. Then there was a delay because the M.S. transcript never arrived and I had to have it sent again with verification of receipt.  Three weeks later I received the email that I had been accepted (now you can understand why I am getting the studio in order).

I will be a 3/4 part-time student with 3 classes in the Fall/Spring semesters and 2 classes in the Summer so I can still finish in 4 years but have more free time to take care of me, my hobbies, and the house.  

​I start classes at the end of August. 

Well February was a crappy month, how about we start again in March!!
After my accident in January I went to see the ENT and I finally had my nose fixed. 
Besides having issue with breathing before the surgery, I could not breathe for another week afterwards due to the splints shoved up my nose, so things could heal in the correct position. After they were taken out I could kinda breathe due to crusty clots in my nostrils. That is now resolving itself.

Yesterday I went for my first walk, no a hike, in over a month around the community. It was only 2 miles but with the sun shining, birds singing, and deer lounging in the woods it was a very enjoyable outing. 

Here is a deer doing said lounging by the house. They were there when I left and came back.

Nope, that the motto for the Olympics.
What I am thinking of is:
   "We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better, stronger, faster."

​The other night I came across the Six Million Dollar Man series on Peacock. I saw it when it first aired but did YOU know that this is one of the shows that influenced by career path???
Go, go on! Go get a cuppa and sit back and enjoy the story!

Let's start with my father. A self-made engineer who said I could be anything I wanted and gently pushed me into STEM because I could tell him how to take apart, put together, improve and fix things​ since I was a wee lass.

Then Star Trek came along (1966-1969). Most women in STEM might say it was Nyota Uhura who showed them that not only a woman in space was possible but they can be very smart too. But for me it was Montgomery "Scotty" Scott. I could see myself as an engineer who could fix anything and I really really wanted to go to space.

Fast forward to the early 1970's I am in high school and I am now pondering what I want to do with my life - should I become an engineer, nurse or doctor; teach science or home economics; become a chef, or..?? I could not decide.

In 1973, I was starting to look at engineering schools and ABC aired a made for TV movie "The Six Million Dollar Man" and I realized it was possible to combine engineering and medicine.  My parents were so confused when I said I wanted to do THAT! 

I went to my guidance counselor Mr. Clarke, who was fantastic in his position, and asked him what sort of engineering program would I study to make medical stuff - prosthetics, equipment, and tools for medicine and he said he would look into it. Sometime later we had a meeting and he said that ANY field of engineers except possibly Aeronautics or Marine, could go to work for a company that researched and made items for the medical industry BUT there was a new field called Biomedical Engineering which was focused on just that - teaching medical science and engineering specifically for the research and development of medical equipment. He handed me a brochure from the Society of Biomedical Engineers and I was ecstatic.   

Mr. Clarke then did more research and passed along a list of schools where I could get an engineering degree but only ONE, at that time, had an accredited undergraduate program specifically for Biomedical Engineering and that was Case Institute to Technology, later to be the Case School of Engineering at Case Western Reserve University. 

Eventually my father and I did tours and took interviews at the schools I was applying to: Case and as fallback schools Carnegie-Mellon, Northeastern, Boston College, Wooster Polytech and a SUNY just in case. I wanted to apply to Rensselaer Poly Tech or Rochester Institute of Technology but they did not accept women at that time.
I was accepted at Case and Carnegie-Mellon but there I would be in a general Engineering program and then use electives to take other medical science courses.

So Case it was and that is where I graduated from. My undergraduate thesis was on the Impedance layers for Ultrasonic Transducers. From there I went to work on Ultrasonic Medical Scanners, Silicone Medical devices, Intravenous Pumps and IV bags, Angioplasty devices, Intercranial Pressure Monitors and Transducers and then I moved into Engineering consulting.

And that ,dear friends is how I became a Biomedical Engineer.

Today I attacked cleaning Erich's car - a 2006 Subaru Baja that we used for rock hounding and road trips.
I started by emptying the glove compartment, door pockets, the front and back seat consoles, then under the front seats, behind the read seats, and in the flat bed area that has a shell on it.

Here is what I found (the big items have been put away and are not in the picture above. 
And if you are thinking, what I am thinking - "You could knock someone out, kill them and bury them with all of this" - then go right ahead!

• The compress air tank with no air
• 2 pick axes
• 3 shovels
• 4 crow bars
• 3 tarps
• 2 dozen bungie chords
• 5 flat tire repair kits
• Bleach
• 2 tie down straps
• 1 package of Industrial strength Duct (cable) ties
• 2 two gallon gas containers, no gas
• a pipe wrench
• a lead mallet
• a funnel
• an empty bottle of engine oil
• 2 - 3 dozens of Power/Energy bars that are so old they could be used for bricks
• a Geiger Counter
• 7 Dosimeters and 2 calibration units
• 2 different types of can openers (but no canned food)
• 2 cans of bug spray 
• 8 magnifying lenses
• 1 dozen roller ball pens
• 3 sharpies 
• 3 screw drivers
• a crescent wrench
• 5 heavy duty pocket knives
• 4 pairs of reading glasses
• 3 tire pressure gauges
• a roll of duct table
• a tape measure
• 5 mylar emergency blanket
• 2 lasers (red and green)
• 2 flashlights in assorted shapes and sizes 
• 7 cigarette lighters
• a fork, knife and spoon
• 2 calculators
• 2 AM/FM radios and 2 weather radios all double wrapped in aluminum foil
• batteries in all shapes and sizes and most are leaking
• foam ear plugs
• a socket wrench set
• and hundreds of pieces of nicotine gum and most so old they too could be used for bricks.

But NO guns or ammo <whew!>
And the icing on the cake - $300 in 20's!!!!!

I came to realize that my life is kinda divided into 30 some-odd year increments - like mortgages and T-Bills but I can't refinance or invest more.

Let's review why I think this.

• I lived life as a single person for 32 years before meeting Erich. Yes, I hade my parents, my sister, various roommates, boy friends (live in and not).
• Then I met Erich and we got married and lived a wonderful like together for 35+ years

That's TWO 30+ year segments.

I plan on living at least another 30+ years and with luck maybe (??) 40 as I would like to live to be at least 100.

​So what's instore for me, over the next 30 years??
I have my arts & crafts, I read, I have my friends, I would like to take long trip to Japan but what's hovering just over the horizon that would be new to me?? Only time will tell

.."being a Prepper"?  I am going with the first one since it sounds nicer and the second makes the Shop Elf sound too weird and out there.

Note: Erich was born at the end of the Great Depression and grew up during WWII so I am going with that as the reason why.

Back in late October 2022 I started to do a full house cleaning; we had been here 5+ years and I knew there was lots of stuff that we really didn't use or need despite having done a major purge for month before the move.
By New Years I had done all the big rooms - living, dining, kitchen, bedrooms, family and it was time to move onto the pantry, hall closets, the loom room, my studio and the shop elf's workshop. 

Then IT happened and everything ground to a halt. In between all the arrangements I am slowly addressing the OTHER stuff that has to be done like TAXES, grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, gassing the car, cleaning the litter box, getting the mail; it is amazing all the stuff he did for US, around the house.
Plus I have to change account names, cancel services and credit cards, etc.

In-between that I will occasionally look in his desk, closet, the pantry, or workshop and here are the things I have found that has stocked up on: (I know there will be more)

• Nicorette Gum (Coleman Ice Chest Full!!)
• Pasta (Coleman Ice Chest Full!!)
• Rice and Beans (Coleman Ice Chest Full!!)
• Batteries (Coleman Ice Chest Full!!)
• Spam
• Coffee
• Salmon
  
• Paper goods like TP and towels
• Plastic bags of all shapes and sizes
• Water - bottled and a Jerry Can
• Protein Shakes
• Protein Powders
• Vitamins and Mineral Supplements
• Geiger Counters - yes we have THREE
• LED Flashlights
• Other emergency lamp/lights
• Propane Tanks (I can use this up in the studio)
• Electronic Components: Resisters, Capacitors, etc..
• Glad ware (disposable plastic tubs)
• Stamps
• Permanent Markers
• Light Bulbs
• First Aid Items - band aides, gauze pads, tape, rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, iodine tablets, Neosporin, old antibiotics cause you never know!
• Other Bathroom items - bars of soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, disposable razors, Mucinex, and more.

Update: 2023-February-06
I have now found a hoard of

• Magnifying glasses and loops
• Staples
• Post-It notes
• Solar calculators
• Highlighters
• Pentel Rolling Ball pens - red and black
• Push Pins

I might not have to buy these things for months if not YEARS!!

Well, I had my "GwtW" moment the other night.

I was watching Finding your Roots on PBS.  I won't go into the details of exactly what the episode was about but suddenly I found myself mad, crying. upset, and saying out loud - WHY NOW !!!

Coincidently my sister texted to see how I was doing, which as you can tell wasn't great, so she called and we had a great chat.  Somewhere during this Boots came into the room and settled on my lap so that also gave me comfort.

I know this will go on for a while but now I feel like I can start to move forward and take care of business.

Enjoy these pictures of the Shop Elf that were taken through the years during various trips we took

I can't watch this movie at the moment and  no women in our family can watch it without tissues being at hand. 

Why, well sit back and I will reveal the reason.

Back in my early teen years Gone with the Wind (GwtW) was going to be shown at the local movie theatre with a 2 hour intermission for lunch. It was on a weekday any my mom said I would not be going to school that day so she could take me to see it. Note 1: I like going to school but when your mom says it's a girl day why argue. My sister had done this with my mother several years earlier and before we left she said " make sure mom has tissue"; was confused as to why and this statement went in one ear and out the other. 

The day arrives and we head into town and we get popcorn and settle into our seats and soon the lights go down the curtain was raised, the opening music starts and the intro credits start to scroll. Within minutes I hear my mom sniff and as the movie went on she was sniffling more and eventually she got up and then came back with a wad of toilet paper. Note 2: It was that thin Soviet Union type of TP. Intermission soon arrived and over lunch she did not explain, when I asked about what was going on but said she would explain on the way home and that I should just enjoy the movie. During the second half the sniffling changed to actual crying. I can and do acknowledge there are sad and emotional sections I still could not comprehend what was going on with my mother. By the time the movie was over and we headed to the car her eyes were very red and her nose was raw from that toilet paper in lieu of tissues.

On the way home, I again asked what was going on and she said something like "You might not understand now, but you will when I am gone!" - WTF MOM??!! Note 3: Being a young girl in the 60's I did not actually think that but you get get it. Then she proceeded to explain that HER mom had passed away when she was 12-ish and that she had seen the movie (released in 1939) around then; I do not know if she saw it with her mother or she saw it after her mother passed but every time she watches the movie all the grief and pain wells up and she can't NOT cry. Oh, and that is how I learned that my grandmother was her step-mom making her my step-grandmother and that my uncle was her half brother; it was a very strange day.

Years later, when GwtW was released to TV (1976) my sister and I made sure she had an entire box of tissue ready.

Then my father passed in 1988 and my mother passed in 1992 and NOW I understand; I was watching a movie yesterday, it was NOT GwtW, and someone died in the movie and I started to cry and changed the channel. 

I will NOT be watching GwtW any time soon.

Picture of Carol Burnett in the curtain dress from the the famous Went with the Wind parody (1976).

​Thanksgivng was a success - Here is the run down

Gylver and Joan were set to arrive around 2pm and at 1:30 pm I put the baking potatoes in the oven at a slightly lower temp so it would be over an hour for them to be done.

I then pulled out the large platter and laid out a charcuterie board: summer sausage, cured/smoked ham, smoked cheddar, cranberry goat cheese, camembert, fig jam, sour cherry jam, assorted crackers, green grapes and strawberries and a nut mix of cashews, pecan, hazel/filberts, brazil, and almonds. 

I also took the key lime pie I ordered out of the fridge and put it on the counter, it arrived last week and had been in the freezer. 

On the counter I laid out 4 of each small plates, large plates, wine glasses, forks, knives, spoons.

Gyl and Joan arrived at 2:30 with the BBQ which we put in the oven with the potatoes to warm up and we sat and talked for a while.

At 3:30-ish we moved to the table and played a crazy game called FLUXX (you start with one set of rules and as you play the rules change as does the goal to win); I have 2 version one based on Doctor Who and the others is H.P. Lovecraft's The Elder Scrolls and Cthulhu.   Some where after the first game which was longer so everyone else became familiar with how to play... I brought over the charcuterie, Joan and I opened the wine and Gyl and Erich had sparkling cider. 

At 6 pm we cleared the table and served up dinner - BBQ brisket and pork roast, coleslaw, potato, butter, sour cream, more wine, water and cider along with LOTS more talking and discussions about stocks, finances, wills, trusts, being in snow storms, etc.

THEN IT WAS TIME FOR PIE and Coffee!!!!. Joan has a love of Key Lime pie which is why i researched and then ordered a pie from a place in Key West, Florida; it is one of the best to get mail order and IT WAS SOOOooooooo good.

At 9 pm we called it a night and we packed up the pie was left over (half) and it went home with Joan as well as half the leftover BBQ. 

I was in bed and asleep by 11 pm. 
And that was my day.

AWhere did October go?
I completed another enhancement to the Tooling Tracker and then took a long break. The shop elf and I started to binge watch some spy/mystery/action movies and series on Amazon:

• ​Jack Ryan - movie and Amazon series
• The Terminal List - Amazon series
• Jason Bourne - all movies
• Reacher - Amazon series (not the movies)

I rested and read 4 books in less than 4 weeks.

​AND I to played in the studio again. I have been slowly acquiring tools to use with the hydraulic press (thus the diversion with making the Tooling Tracker) and I spend some of each day making sample pressings of the various impression dies and texture samples using the rolling mill, of the texture plates and practiced making some small dishes with texture and impressions to learn how best to do that. Along the way I also semi-disassembled the rolling mill to clean and recalibrate it.

​ I am not done as I have to make some boxes, cups and dishes with texture and impressions.