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So many little things I miss

4/24/2023

The grieving continues...
The hole is slowly, very slowly disappearing
As I do things around the house it is hard to ignore the many little things Erich as The Shop Elf, would do for me or for us.

Feeding Boots several times a day
Getting the mail
Cleaning Boots' litterbox
Taking out the garbage and weekly putting the garbage can out for pickup
Making dinner together
Going grocery shopping together
Kissing me goodnight as I flopped into bed at 10pm and he stayed up until 1am

Here's the big one - MAKING ME/US coffee in the morning.
The coffee maker holds enough water (48 ounces) for about 5 large mugs of coffee which means I am filling the reservoir every 2-3 days and I am getting annoyed at it and the reservoir has not handle so it is difficult to fill from the fridge. So today I treated my self to a new coffee maker with a much larger reservoir which HAS a handle and holds 78 ounces, to go along with all the coffee pods I have.

The existing coffee maker will be moved into the studio for when I am working in there OR upstairs in the family room for early morning news watching.

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Roller Coaster Ride

4/11/2023

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Dealing with Grief is like a roller coaster ride.
There are days of ups and downs
Then there are days you think you have gotten off but in fact, you are just at the back of the line waiting for another go.
It can take months if not years to finally have your ticket fully punched.

Last week I was doing well. I was back to cleaning the house and taking things to be donated. In the evening I was watching some of our favorite shows and life felt good.

Thursday I went to San Antonio, to the Tobin Center, to see a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson. I had given Erich his latest book to read; which he did enjoy, and then found out about the talk but had not bought the tickets before Erich passed away. In February I decided to go, by myself, and I did have a wonderful time BUT - All through the talk I kept wanting to lean over and whisper in Erich's ear and I almost did it to the man sitting next to me. It was on the way home that I found myself back on the roller coaster; it's been 5 days and it hasn't stopped - crying at odd times, feeling sad, wanting to avoid things, hurting, and more.

I am just sit for the next few days and go with it since pushing it down and avoiding it only delays and slows down the recovery process.

I will let you know how it goes...

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So many little things I miss

Roller Coaster Ride

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