Forty some odd years ago I found myself in this situation - I couldn't sleep, I couldn't make decisions, I had issues getting my thoughts in to words, I had no interest in doing anything, and yes I wanted to die because I hated feeling this way.  I sought help and it was determined I was depressed prescribed pills and told to rest and go to therapy once a week to seek out the cause of what had gotten me into such a state.

After a few months I felt better and I was weaned off the antidepressant medication. As for finding the cause, well let's just say no one event or events had the pin stuck in it; it was determined to be an after effect of graduation and being in a new city without friends or family.  But about 9 months later I could tell the depression was returning and so back to the doctor I went.  After much talking and review of what was going on in my life as well as in the past I was diagnosed with Unipolar depression, I do have some periods of hyperactivity but no true manic phases <whew!>

I was prescribed a SSRI medication, stayed in therapy and worked on changing my lifestyle which was a major cause of bringing the depressed states on.  Turns out being a Type-A personality and being predisposed to  a serotonin deficiency is not a good mix. 

Over time and few attempts of weaning myself off the medications I gave up on that idea; I found I was on a two-plus year cycle of depression and feeling normal which is when I would reduce my meds only to find I was getting depressed again. I finally came to the conclusion that I am never going to stop taking the meds but I can lower it slowly over time and then increase it if/when I need it. 

So how do I control the cycling - I make a massive effort to get 8+ hours of sleep a night and when I don't I make sure I do for several nights later in the week. When I was working, I became "a worker bee" - I turned down being a technical lead and I also gave up the goal of being a manager plus I found out I did NOT like being a manager. Unlike my father who always had a pet project when he was in that position; I found that most times the people whom I worked for were not happy when I had one and that did not make me a happy camper. 

Now, being retired I strive to get lots of rest and sleep and do things I enjoy and mostly NOT GET STRESSED.

Speaking of which, I decided 3 weeks ago to make a new quilt for me because the one on the bed is 30 years old and the binding is fraying; the rest if fine thus it is time to put it away and make a new one. I spent a week of evenings, while watching TV planning to take a quilt pattern that was for a throw and scale it to queen size. I already had the fabric which was 1-yard cuts; and digging through the fabric closet I found the perfect fabric for the border. Last week I took it in to the quilter and while that was happening I used the leftover fabric to make  the bias binding. The quilting was done on Wednesday and yesterday I spent the day sewing the binding on and then washed it; it is now on my bed!! 

This week I am finishing the workshop and afterwards I will start another quilt which will also be for me; I cut the fabric last week while this quilt was being quilted.

Two weeks ago I decided to go for a hike up Panther Canyon which is at the back of Landa Park in New Braunfels. It is rated at Difficult but not very long. I figured I would give it a go and if I got to tired, I would turn around and try again until I was able to do the entire thing.

The temperature was COLD so I put on my winter leggings, super wool shirt, puffy jacket, hat, merino socks and walking shoes and did one loop around the park to warm up and then hit the trail.

​It has sections of dirt and uneven rocks and at times a dry creek bed is crossed or along side of it. I was feeling very good and not getting tired as I approached the top when I realized I did not have my walking sticks cause the trail was suddenly very uneven ... and just then I caught a toe and went down with a very hard face plant.

My glasses hit a rock and then broke my nose; I felt it. I thought the lenses had broken since it was that hard! I also landed on my right hand and I knew I broke it too.

I caught my breath, found my glasses which were bent but not broken and sat up. OH IT HURT SO BAD and the blood was all over my face. I took of my bandana, which I always wear to keep my neck warm or protected from the sun or to blow my nose, so I use it to mop up the blood. 

I was about to stand up when 2 people were coming down the trail and saw me and provided help. They stayed with me as I/we went to my car to make sure I was not going to black out. I was much more stable by then and I knew I could get to the ER.

The ER had no waiting so I was taken in right away. I had a CT for my head and neck and an x-Ray for my hand.  After almost 2 hours, the doctor reviewed the films with me. No concussion but whiplash. The nose is certainly broken and my right pinky is fractured. The hand was taped, I was told NOT to blow my nose and just rest and not to drive for a few days due to the neck and not to drive at night until that was all better. I got a CD with images and was sent home to rest and to follow up with my Doctor about the hand and an ENT for the nose.  Final instructions NO hiking or bar fights.

So 2 weeks later my hand is still is taped and will be so for at least 4 weeks. The ENT has scheduled me for surgery in late February.   My neck is 75% and I can kinda breathe.

Things are getting better - WHEW

I have just started the 3 and final dosages of the Prednisone - 1 10mg pill per day for the next 10 days. I have had most of the side effects (sleep issues, weigh gain and raging hungriness, agitation, high blood pressure, pounding in the ears and more. Thankfully they are going away.

When this started, I had just begun, again, on a "Get Healthy" regimen. I had contacted the Nutrition and Fitness coach who helped me get ready for my Big Walk in Scotland to start a plan again. I put new batteries in the Blood Pressure cuff, which uses Bluetooth to store the data in an app, so I could get off that medication that started the medical ugliness and I also bought a new scale that also records stats for BMI also via Bluetooth to an app.  I also cleared my Fit Bit and BP History which went back over 10 years - I was going to start new and clean. Additionally I created a new account with my food tracking app.  Then of course I had to hit the breaks hard on all of these plans until we got this thing under control.

​In some ways, now I really have no choice. To be honest I am 30 to 40 pounds over weight and my BMI is just over 30. My BP puts me somewhere between Hypertension Level 1 and 2; it is NOT a pretty place to be.  

About 10 years ago when I worked for the Navy in San Diego I started seriously walking and eating better.  At one point I was walking 4 miles around the harbor, my weight was down 15 pounds and my BP was in the Normal range. Then we moved and I slid backwards, then Erich died and I slid even more and so that is where I am today. 

This week, I am not official on the plan because of the Prednisone but I am doing what I call practicing. I will go for some walks, maybe 2; I will go to the gym for a weight work, once; I will track what I eat to get back into that habit and to make better food choices but I won't try to hit any macros levels.   But come October 2nd when I finish up the pills I will begin. 

Stay tuned, this could be an eye opening and wild ride

I HATE being sick, let alone just ill.

​Around August 27, I noticed by ankles getting itchy; I put on some cream thinking my skin was dry and moved on. Over the next few days the itchy-ness grew and when I looked I had a bad rash and it was slowly spreading up my legs! I put pen marks on my skin to see how it grew over time.

I thought about what might be causing it and what was "new" and that lead me to think that it might be an allergy reaction since I had recently added raw sunflower seeds to my diet; I don't normally eat them. I contacted an allergist and in a few days I had an appointment and in the mean time I was dosing myself with an oral anti-histamine but the ITCHING was horrible.  The doctor was quite intrigued, we drew blood for a test but he was uncertain what exactly was causing it and IF it was an allergic reaction at all. The doctor shared my pictures and history with a Skin/Vascular (Dermatologist) expert and a follow up appointment was made with him for 2 days later.

Well, it was pretty bad by then and he was quite surprised. After a lot of questions and answers, 2 punch biopsies were taken, a course of Prednisone (a very strong steroid) was prescribed and a follow up appointment was made for a week later.  The Prednisone worked - kinda; after a few days at a higher dose which did knock back the rash on my lower legs I was to then go to a lower dose to taper off of it and that was when I got more of the rash elsewhere on my body - abdomen, arms, neck, and chest. It wasn't as bad but the itching was horrible.  I should have called the doctor but I was in Denver for the Gem & Mineral show (which will be another post) and I just tried to ignore it all plus my legs were clearing up. 

After I returned from Denver and went to the follow up appointment I finally got a diagnosis. It WAS an allergic reaction but to one of my medications - the ACE (heart) Inhibitor I have been on for 10+ years.  This reaction is not common but not unknown and I guess I should feel lucky as some people go into anaphylaxis shock.  Because I was still taking the medication and the dose of Prednisone was lower, the rash reaction made a slight comeback while I was in my trip. The plan of attack was to stop the heart medication immediately and go on a higher dose and longer taper off of the Prednisone; this would allow for the heart medication to flush out of my system which could take a month, and allow the Prednisone to do it's thing.  Another follow up appointment was made for a few days later.  

The latest follow up appointment went well. The rash had cleared, most of the itching has stopped and I am finally on the mend.  I have almost 2 more weeks of the Prednisone to go and after that I get to follow up with my PCP to get them up to speed on what happened.  I am NOT going to replace the medication with a new one; I am planning on managing my heart with diet and exercise which really is the best in the long run. 

​WARNING - The pictures are rather intense; look if you dare

​Wow, it's been three months since I posted. So much has happened.


A friend from California has visited in May and he and his wife are getting close to retirement and have decided to relocate to this part of Texas. They are here this week now looking at home and will hopefully mover by April of next year when their lease runs out and she has retired from her job.

​

Then my sister came for a visit in June. She was in San Antonio for work and we spent the weekend seeing the area. One thing she wanted to see what an H.E.B grocery store. She use to teach marketing research and H.E.B was one of the case studies she covered, so she found it very interesting so actually see it in comparison to what she knew of them from on paper.

And I was feeling betting an working in the studio and getting deep into projects at the day job. I now lead a team of off shore developers for one project and we are pushing to get it finished before October but there was a lot of code clean up to do which I took on while the off shore team worked on other things.

​Then just over two weeks ago, while making my lunch one morning, the knife slipped and sliced open my right thumb; I was removing a pit from an avocado. Yes, I was doing it "correctly" as everyone has proceeded to tell me or send me to links on YouTube. The avocado was VERY ripe and so the pit slipped and the knife came out and went into my thumb.  Oh it bled and it was deep.
​
I now have what is called Avocado Hand. It should be noted that Bagel hand is something else.

So I wrapped it up and when to urgent care. They first cleaned it, gave me a tetanus shot, and took x-rays because there was a chance I nicked the bone, but did not, it was that deep. No stitches were put in cause I had to see a hand surgeon next.  Later in the day I was on my way to the surgeon who said I did not knick the tendon as I could flex it without pain but may have nicked the nerve since I had tingling along the side by my nail. Again no stitches were put in as they have 14 days to do surgery and IF they  had to go in, stitches would have to come out; so I butterfly bandage closed and wrapped up in elastic gauze tape and told to come back in a week.  I have now seen the doctor a second time and still have a bit of tingling along the side of my thumb but I can grip with no problem, confirming tendon is fine. So at this point it there are no guarantees the tingle would go away and since the area where it is like that is so small, the doctor doubts he might even be able to put in a stitch. This means the time and expense to do it plush the healing time are just not worth cutting my hand open. 

Let's must move on.

..get my life back under control and other times, I am learning to let it go. 

I realized that the move to Texas was more stressful than I though and I was not listening to the signals that I am (was?) ill. 

I haven't been sleeping well; I'm stress at work for no reason; I can't focus on what's being discussed and I let me mind wander to other non-work related things; I wanted to cry for no apparent reason; and what I was eating was/is crap so I put on all the weight I lost 3 years ago PLUS more - see below  

So last week, after a month of reading a book, I started a new eating regime (It is not a diet).

Since I had thyroid cancer, it has been exceedingly difficult for me to loose weight. 2+ years ago I started walking and found that if I walked for an hour every day and really limited my calories (and was always hungry) I was able to loose weight; I eventually lost about 20 pounds. But over time not only has that 20 pounds come back but I put on a more and trying to loose it has been a horrible struggle.

Last month a friend told me about her thyroid issues and how a nutritionist told her to read a book and follow the plan detailed in the book. She has since lost 40+ pounds and the sluggish and tired feeling have gone away. So 3 weeks ago I read the book and started the plan, I was feeling good and excited to see some changes and result in the next few weeks!

So what is it that I doing?  I am following the Plant Paradox by Dr. Gundry

I do not have some of the heavy autoimmune issues many have nor do I have diabetes but as I have said, I suffer from a very sluggish metabolism. I also have tinnitus (this appeared after my torn rotator cuff surgery and a bad reaction to the anesthesia), constipation, along with feeling sluggish, brain foggy, and depression.
  
I am now one week in and so far so good. I have not done the cleanse and there a just a few minor things I have been eating that I should not per the plan, but for now, it is more about small changes versus radical one.  I am still using a small amount of soy sauce to make my roasted veg, regular milk Greek yogurt, and a vegan, gluten free, salad dressing.

I have made the decision to cook a big meal on Sunday's and eat it as "left overs" for dinner during the week. This is so I don't have to cook every night nor will I resort to frozen meals. This past week I had roasted veg (cauliflower, brussel sprouts, fennel, and asparagus) with wild Alaskan salmon; for lunch I had a spinach salad with avocado, tuna, and sheep's milk feta with that vegan salad dressing; for breakfast I had yogurt with either fresh blueberries or strawberries; and for a snack some mixed raw nuts (walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts). 

So how was my first week? Pretty good. I don't feel hungry and I am enjoying what I am eating without worrying about tracking what I eat nor how many calories and grams of protein/fat/carbs or points I consumed!  I seem to be sleeping a bit better though having the sun come through the window at 6:30 am has and will be an issue since the bedroom window faces east but with the days getting longer it will resolve it's self until next summer roles around. And yes, I had THREE amazing bowel movements this week too.  I weighed myself and I am down 4 pounds. I will now not weigh myself for a month; this is so I don't obsess over it. 

Today I am back to the supermarket for this week's shopping and then I will make a beef stew for my week's dinner and get some other cheeses to add to my snack. 
​

 I never blogged about it but I had a mild case of shingles back in September; along my left arm (that was part 1). Yes, I know most people get shingles along the torso but trust me, you can get a chase of shingles anywhere.   If you don't know, shingles is caused by the chicken pox virus which lays dormant in your nerves, waiting for an opportunity to re-awaken when your immune system is weak. Go look it up, it's not pretty. 

IF you catch it early, you can get anti-virals to lessen it. If you approaching 60, your insurance should cover the vaccination - more on this later.  Or if you don't catch it early, you have to ride it out, which I did and as I said, I had a mild case but trust me; it was not fun. 

Now, 6 months later with no other flare ups I was able to get the vaccination to (help) prevent another flare up. There are NO certainties that you won't but the vaccine, reduces it greatly. The chances you will get it again, without it are much higher.

But getting the vaccine was so stressful, I was worried I was going to get another flare up. My doctor said I should get it but she could not give it to me as the vaccine is LIVE, so it must be kept frozen and the office had no way to handle it. I was given a prescription and told to go to the pharmacy, and they could give it to me. BUT they would charge me $200, despite the insurance, yet despite my doctor saying it was 100% 'covered' because they would give me the shot.  So then the question was raised if I could I get it at the pharmacy, and then my doctor gives me the shot - again the pharmacy said it was a 'prescription' thus they would charge me $200. 

I finally called my insurance and after much explaining and waiting they said to go to a pharmacy with a clinic and that they would have the vaccine and could administer it - all 100% covered since it was a medical and not a prescription. So after more questions as to where this could be done, I was given the name of the clinic at the CVS Clinic about 20 miles way. So I made a reservation and left the house to go there and get it. 

But I could not.

For what ever reason, the info my insurance carrier had was "wrong' as the clinic did not have it even though the pharmacy was next to it (inside the CVS store) had it in stock. So after much discussion the Physician's assistant went with me to the pharmacy to find out how we could do it. Luckily I had mentioned that the insurance rep had said "medical" and the pharmacy realized that they could submit the claim NOT as a prescription but as MEDICAL which is maybe what the pharmacy tech did not know the first time.  I handed over my 'prescription' and I was able to get the vaccination and did not have to pay anything. 

Now, lets discuss the vaccination. IT is ALIVE!!! it is, a mild form of the shingles (herpes zoster) vaccine. Which means that you can have various side effects as your body works to create (more) anti-bodies.
What are they? How about - injection site reactions (redness, itching, swelling, warmth, bruising, and pain), headache, diarrhea, joint or muscle pain, or skin rash. Most of which I am going through right now. YUCK. 

And to top it all off, Elisa of Scotland also got a case of shingles over 6 weeks ago. She caught it early and the doctor prescribed the anti-viral medications but with her chronic-fatigue-syndrome, it has not been easy on her. I can only image how, when she it clear,how  the vaccination will affect her. 

SO, if you are 60 years of age and/or have a comprised immune system GO talk to your doctor about the vaccination. The shot, even if you get the side effects certainly out way getting one or more shingles outbreaks.
Really -  
Go,
GO NOW!

Almost a year ago, I bought a Fitbit and a Quadric blood pressure cuff to help me improve my health. I won't give lots of links to the various blog posts where I discuss my thyroid and lack of one; nor the posts about the strange heart issue just use the links in the categories over there on the right and you will find them.

I was looking at my history in both the FitBit app and the Quadrio app and I was rather amazed at how well I have done. 

Yes, I will be honest that since November of last year, I have not been activly working at it - the walking, the weight loss, the lowering of the bp, getting more sleep. BUT I do have to say that the effort I put into it has paid off since I have maintained my weight loss and kept my BP down and I have been able to eliminate one of the heart medications I was on.

So let's look at some charts, shall we.
​
First up is my resting heart rate, this is a graph from the FitBit. As your heart gets stronger, your heart rate gets lower because it does not have to work as much to get the blood pushed around your body. This is an average and I do know that the FitBit is not as accurate as actual medical monitoring but look at the trend.  And what about those two spikes? Those are from being really sick with that nasty bug that eventually morphed into bronchitis.  I would say I have done well, I give myself an A.

Next up is my weight which is also from the FitBit. Yeah, the weight has taken a slight uptick recently but overall I am down just under 10 pounds; I was at one point down just over 10 pounds but that was due to the bronchitis and I have always said, if you want to loose weight get pneumonia; you will not only loose weight but you might loose your life too. I do not recommend getting it but the weight loss that happens is only a secondary benefit with the first being recovering and living. Thank goodness for antibiotics.  I would say I have done well but I could have done better so I give myself a B.

The last chart is from the Quadrio and it is of my average blood pressure reading. I could not get one image for the year as the app does not rotate into landscape thus i have had to merge them together.  The two lines are for the systolic and the diastolic readings. I have moved on the range chart from within Grade 1 hypertension to the lower edge of Normal and bordering on the range of Optimal which is better than Normal. Note: Ranges are Optimal, Normal, Grade 1, Grade 2 and Grade 3.  I would say I have done very well so I give myself an A+.

What is my overall grade? I would have to say a B+ as I have not been really working at it the past 5 months and IF I had things would be much better. Yet I think I get an A because of how much I have improved. 

I will try to remember to do another report card in SIX months which I hope will keep me on track; and again in another year. 

About 3 to 4 weeks ago I started to get more pains in my heart. Even more than before and for longer periods. And it just never went away. Yes there were times when there were no sharp stabbing pains but it was more like a very low level pressure and it always seemed to be there.

I started to get really worried and of course, that did not help things.  I got really freaked out. 

I knew that this time, I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 

So I set out on a plan to get it all under control

• I now get 8 or more hours of sleep a night. 
  
• I am taking walks at least 3 days a week for 30 minutes or more. With time I will increase the number of days and the length of the walk. 
• I switched my days I work out of the house so I have two of the together, in the middle of the week.
• I am also changing my eating in hopes of loosing more weight (yeah, I still have not lost all the weight from when I had thyroid cancer)
• Slow down (i.e. more sleep) and relax more and not worry or STRESS as much.
• I got a FitBit HR so I can track my HR and see if there is a correlation between stress, HR and the pain. The HR also tracks my sleep and exercise. 
• I bought a portable Quadrio Blood Pressure monitor that syncs to my phone to track my BP, and again to see if there is a correlation between stress, BR and the pain. Well this is a given but I also want to see how my sleep, exercise and HR correlates to my BP. 

• And I cleared part of my metal work schedule which I wrote about here. Unfortunately when I did this, some of the people I notified got rather nasty about it, which if you think about it really caused MORE stress.  Time to move on. 
• Remove toxic people and situations from my life.

I have had the FitBit HR on my wrist for just over two weeks. I like the interface on my phone and via the browser on my computer and seeing my stats is great feedback. I have been using the BP monitor for a week and it is very easy to use and again the UI on the phone is good. 

So how's it going.  

I am seeing that the nights I get 9 hours of sleep is when my BP has been the lowest first thing in the morning. The days where I have had little shots of pain - yup my BP is well above normal but not in the danger zone, and my HR is very elevated as well. I am enjoying my walks at lunch AND I have lost 5 pounds.

My goal is to loose a total of 20 pound but right now loosing 10 is what I am aiming for. I am also hoping that with time and IF the pains go away, I can get off the BP meds the cardiologist prescribed. Hey, if I can't well at least I will be better off health-wise.