Forty some odd years ago I found myself in this situation - I couldn't sleep, I couldn't make decisions, I had issues getting my thoughts in to words, I had no interest in doing anything, and yes I wanted to die because I hated feeling this way. I sought help and it was determined I was depressed prescribed pills and told to rest and go to therapy once a week to seek out the cause of what had gotten me into such a state.
After a few months I felt better and I was weaned off the antidepressant medication. As for finding the cause, well let's just say no one event or events had the pin stuck in it; it was determined to be an after effect of graduation and being in a new city without friends or family. But about 9 months later I could tell the depression was returning and so back to the doctor I went. After much talking and review of what was going on in my life as well as in the past I was diagnosed with Unipolar depression, I do have some periods of hyperactivity but no true manic phases <whew!>
I was prescribed a SSRI medication, stayed in therapy and worked on changing my lifestyle which was a major cause of bringing the depressed states on. Turns out being a Type-A personality and being predisposed to a serotonin deficiency is not a good mix.
Over time and few attempts of weaning myself off the medications I gave up on that idea; I found I was on a two-plus year cycle of depression and feeling normal which is when I would reduce my meds only to find I was getting depressed again. I finally came to the conclusion that I am never going to stop taking the meds but I can lower it slowly over time and then increase it if/when I need it.
So how do I control the cycling - I make a massive effort to get 8+ hours of sleep a night and when I don't I make sure I do for several nights later in the week. When I was working, I became "a worker bee" - I turned down being a technical lead and I also gave up the goal of being a manager plus I found out I did NOT like being a manager. Unlike my father who always had a pet project when he was in that position; I found that most times the people whom I worked for were not happy when I had one and that did not make me a happy camper.
Now, being retired I strive to get lots of rest and sleep and do things I enjoy and mostly NOT GET STRESSED.
Speaking of which, I decided 3 weeks ago to make a new quilt for me because the one on the bed is 30 years old and the binding is fraying; the rest if fine thus it is time to put it away and make a new one. I spent a week of evenings, while watching TV planning to take a quilt pattern that was for a throw and scale it to queen size. I already had the fabric which was 1-yard cuts; and digging through the fabric closet I found the perfect fabric for the border. Last week I took it in to the quilter and while that was happening I used the leftover fabric to make the bias binding. The quilting was done on Wednesday and yesterday I spent the day sewing the binding on and then washed it; it is now on my bed!!
This week I am finishing the workshop and afterwards I will start another quilt which will also be for me; I cut the fabric last week while this quilt was being quilted.
After a few months I felt better and I was weaned off the antidepressant medication. As for finding the cause, well let's just say no one event or events had the pin stuck in it; it was determined to be an after effect of graduation and being in a new city without friends or family. But about 9 months later I could tell the depression was returning and so back to the doctor I went. After much talking and review of what was going on in my life as well as in the past I was diagnosed with Unipolar depression, I do have some periods of hyperactivity but no true manic phases <whew!>
I was prescribed a SSRI medication, stayed in therapy and worked on changing my lifestyle which was a major cause of bringing the depressed states on. Turns out being a Type-A personality and being predisposed to a serotonin deficiency is not a good mix.
Over time and few attempts of weaning myself off the medications I gave up on that idea; I found I was on a two-plus year cycle of depression and feeling normal which is when I would reduce my meds only to find I was getting depressed again. I finally came to the conclusion that I am never going to stop taking the meds but I can lower it slowly over time and then increase it if/when I need it.
So how do I control the cycling - I make a massive effort to get 8+ hours of sleep a night and when I don't I make sure I do for several nights later in the week. When I was working, I became "a worker bee" - I turned down being a technical lead and I also gave up the goal of being a manager plus I found out I did NOT like being a manager. Unlike my father who always had a pet project when he was in that position; I found that most times the people whom I worked for were not happy when I had one and that did not make me a happy camper.
Now, being retired I strive to get lots of rest and sleep and do things I enjoy and mostly NOT GET STRESSED.
Speaking of which, I decided 3 weeks ago to make a new quilt for me because the one on the bed is 30 years old and the binding is fraying; the rest if fine thus it is time to put it away and make a new one. I spent a week of evenings, while watching TV planning to take a quilt pattern that was for a throw and scale it to queen size. I already had the fabric which was 1-yard cuts; and digging through the fabric closet I found the perfect fabric for the border. Last week I took it in to the quilter and while that was happening I used the leftover fabric to make the bias binding. The quilting was done on Wednesday and yesterday I spent the day sewing the binding on and then washed it; it is now on my bed!!
This week I am finishing the workshop and afterwards I will start another quilt which will also be for me; I cut the fabric last week while this quilt was being quilted.
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